Keskustelujen arkisto

Quote from user: GeoXThe first thing I have to say is that I admire the hell out of you for putting your money where your mouth is like this. The second thing I have to say is that it's obvious you've put a lot of thought into this, and I think it's about as good as a thing like this could be. The third thing I have to say is that it still doesn't work for me, for two reasons, one of which isn't really directly related to your thing per se but would--I have come to realize--be an objection I'd have to just about ANYTHING like this.

The first problem is, I'm just not buying the notion that there would be any great need for the parents to stay on, even after so many years. How much machine- and mine-related knowledge can they possibly have, and how many years can it possibly take them to impart all of it? And is there really no way that other people who oh say maybe don't have to abandon their small children could fulfill this role? The more I think about it, the more this just isn't seeming very plausible to me.

But I will concede that there might be a way you could plausibly answer these questions. My second objection is, I think, the more important one--and, as I said, it's a more general one that I didn't even anticipate I'd have until I read your thing, but now I feel it quite viscerally, to an extent that kind of surprises me, and it's this: I cannot stand the idea that Donald could have rivals for HDL's filial affections. I mean, I reeeeeeaally can't stand it. I know you try to address this issue, and I think you do it sensitively, but even if we very explicitly stipulate that Donald is in no way eclipsed by the parents, the idea that he should have legitimate rivals of any sort in this arena just doesn't work for me. At all.

So those are my thoughts. And I thank you again for sharing this.
Thank you for your words, and the criticism! To be one hundred percent honest, I wrote this completely blind, in 90 minutes, with no more than a few general story goals in mind that I mentioned earlier. It's not nearly as good as it's could be, believe me. Two more drafts and I can integrate Scrooge better in to the plot, fix some of the holes, weave better themes, and move the story more organically.

Writing this was a matter of fun for me, not putting out some grandiose story I've had brewing in the back of my head for years. I've got stories like that, and others that are just ideas, but I'd rather share them with a publisher someday.

To address your criticisms: The short answer I've got is "Yup." I totally get it on both counts, mea culpa. Part of it I'll attribute to this being nothing more than a first draft, which is my fault, and part of I'll attribute to... well, really, still my fault, but I'd like to explain why I did it the way I did.

The questions you brought up could be answered, and I actually thought I put them in there... turns out I made a stupid mistake and failed to do so.

My bad.

Really, any solution for this is a patch (and it had to do with understanding economics, knowing the language, and a background in sociology, believe it or not, rather than any specific machinery related work. They were essentially helping to build an infrastructure for an entire country and were uniquely qualified for this particular area), but such a thing would only work in execution rather than showing it in an outline. Even then, it's part of the reason I wouldn't be too interested in submitting it, I never, ever want to feel like I'm cheating the reader, even if they might not feel cheated.

The second objection is an issue I was concerned about. It was my hope that showing that the "rivalry" only existed in Donald's mind would make it a palatable read, but I can absolutely understand why it would leave a bad taste in your mouth. The idea that the love between them would be in any way diminished, relative to others, is something I find quite distasteful too. The Scrooge panel where he hints that he might have talked to the boys... I was reticent about putting it in there, attempting to use it as a matter of showing that Scrooge wanted his family to come together rather than lose what he once had. But I would take it out of any second draft I did, because it's simply unnecessary.

Kind of related to this is part about Rosa's Donald that I both liked and disliked. In stories like "Super Snooper Strikes Again", or the "The Magnificent Seven (Minus Four) Caballeros", Donald just... well, the world just shits on him, and he's so fucking depressed, only for it to be turned around on him at the last moment that "Aw, we love you Unca Donald."

I really just wanted to avoid... well, every part of that, really. To the boys, in the reality of this story, Donald is as much their parent as their mom and dad, and they would be just as upset if Donald was gone. For about two seconds I had a "You're not my real dad" thing in there, but I decided it was stupid, trite, and not true to the characters. They love their uncle, through and through, and love has never been a finite thing.

That, I hope, would be a message worth sharing.